Kimberly Thorpe Speaks

General

Guard Your Heart

In the book of Proverbs God speaks through Solomon in Proverbs 4:23 he says, "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.

I want to talk about guarding your heart as it relates to the marital union.

As Christians we have heard the term guard you heart, guard your heart over and over in again, but in a practical sense what does that really mean.

It is obvious that married Christians are not really clear about what it means to guard our hearts or else the divorce rate would not be at 40 to 50%.

Examples of an unguarded heart:

  1. One who gives someone other than his her spouse access to his or her hopes dreams and desires.
  2. One who flirts with one he or she is attracted to.
  3. One who allows an individule he/she is attracted to, to confide in him or her about their relationship woes. 
  4. One who allows a friend of the opposite sex to build him or her up and looks forward to the compliments or becomes reliant on them.
  5. One who goes out to drink and party specifically with single companions who are on the prowl.
  6. One who is not in relationship with the Lord and able to hear him clearly when he or she is being tempted.

Many of us get in trouble when we leave our hearts unguarded, we are quick to say I can handle this situation then we end up falling into sin.

 

We live in a world where we clearly know and understand the importance of  guarding everything else but our heart.  There is no discussion around the need to guard our money, our home, or our possessions.  But when it comes to the heart, we just fail to give the guarding of our heart much thought. 

 

Familes are destroyed, homes are broken, unions are shattered simply because we do not give much thought to guarding our heart.  The truth is Provebs 4:23 is a commandment not a suggestion.  Everytime God gives us a commandment he also give us the provisions to accomplish what he has commanded.   We are all susceptible to falling prey to the enemy when we leave our heart unguarded. 

David in the bible was a man of great strength, he was a great leader and pinned in the bible as a man after God's own heart.  Even he fell prey to not guarding his heart and taking another man's wife into his bed and having her husband killed after impregnating her.   When David walked out on the balcony and saw that a woman was bathing, instead of looking upon her he should have run back into his palace guarding his heart from lusting after her. But instead he left his heart unguarded and he had to reap the consequences of his sin.

David suffered for not guarding his heart:

-God said I will raise up evil against you in your own house- (and you wonder why your household is out of order).

-God said I will take your wives and give them to your neighbors- (reaping and sowing is real now your spouse is cheating on you).

-Nathan told David that his child conceived in sin will die- (our children may not be physically dying but when we live a life before them with an unguarded heart our sinfully lifestyle is killing them spiritually).

Ezek 11:19b says, He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down and without walls.'

 

So you ask how do I guard my heart?

God has answered that:

  • When thoughts that are not of God pop into your mind do 2 Cor 10:4-5 and cast them down. God has given us his word as a weapon to cast down thoughts of infidelity , lust, adultery, fornication.  Use the word of God to bring into captivity those thoughts to the obedience of Christ.
  • Remain in a prayerful state. Be positioned to converse with God about any situation.  Sometimes we can become anxious and desire the things of the world.  So always be willing to seek God about the things of this world that tempt you and have the propensity to leave your heart unguarded. 

Phil 4:6-7 Do not be anxious for anything but in everything by prayer and supplication make your request be known unto God…..and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

In a more practical sense,

  •  Stop allowing the opposite sex to whisper in your ear when your spouse is not around.
  •  Don't put yourself in situations that you may be tempted to sin.
  •  Don't look upon others with lust. 
  • Put up clear boundaries that say I am married and committed to God and my spouse.
  • Don't allow vile videos and pictures to penetrate your mind (block people who post them).
  • Don't reach out to your past on social media.
  • Don't respond to temptation in your inbox or DM

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February 14, 2015

There Are (4) Reasons A Man Does Not Like To Talk About Marriage:

  1. He feels pressured and pursued by the woman he is dating- A man is a hunter by divine nature.  He wants to pursue his woman.  Her pursuit of him is a turnoff and he becomes disengaged in a conversation about marriage.
  2. He is not financially stable- A man wants to feel like he can adequately provide for his wife.  When he knows that he is not positioned to do so he will avoid the marriage conversation.
  3. He is aware of the fact that the divorce rate is high- If he concludes that married couples are miserable he is in no rush to join the miserably married, therefore he avoids the marriage conversation.
  4. He has not inherited the legacy of successful marriages- When a man is the product of a broken home and has only known his elders to date and cohabitate without being married, a conversation about marriage does not appeal to him.  After all he is living his normal and it is comfortable.                                                                                                                                         

Some women avoid the conversation because they fear rejection or loss of the relationship.  Confirmation of his unwillingness to marry her forces her to make a decision to move on or accept the fact that she will not get what she desires.  She would rather not deal with the thought of those possibilities.  It is easier not to know.  In order to make the marriage conversation less intimidating and uncomfortable, agree to have open honest discussions about marriage and all the feelings associated with it at 6 to 12 month intervals.  Allow the man to lead the discussion.  If he continues to avoid the conversation, move on without him.

 

Rev. Kimberly Thorpe LMSW

KimberlyThoropeSpeaks.com

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February 16, 2015

Kimberly encourages ladies to seek God instead of another woman's husband.

Don't allow the enemy to trick you into hiding behind a Christian title while in pursuit of another woman's husband.  Do you really just want to be her husband's friend?  Like the serpent in the garden, you have become the third voice in the mist of husband and wife.  I know you desire to be loved, and I empathize with your unconscious tendency to hurt others, primarily because you carry so much pain.  If you get what your flesh desires, he will always think about her.  You will never be free of the guilt of interfering with that union no matter how broken or shattered it is.  The fact that you share interest with him and he makes you laugh, doesn't give you clearance to prey upon their union.  It's sad because he doesn't know who you really are.  You carry around the shell of a scared little girl who has been overlooked, rejected and abandoned by love in your pursuit of happiness. Sister you are in search of the wrong man.  Her man will never be able to take away your pain, or satisfy your insatiable fleshly desires.  Jesus the Son of God is the man for you.  Seek The Lord with the same commitment, and desire that you have sought her husband and I promise you, you will find everything you need and so much more than her husband can offer.  Stay focused!!!!!!!

Reverend Kimberly Thorpe LMSW

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November 13, 2014

 

Most married Christians promise never to use the "D" word.  Before God, they vow to love and to cherish one another until death due them part.  They have embraced one another every night for what feels like an eternity.  They have lived for what seems like a lifetime praising God for one another's presence, health and well-being.   They have shared highs and lows.  The two are guilty of wiping the dirt off the other following a fall and kissing every wound until it is healed.  They have shared their bliss with other couples and been an example of God's expression of love on earth.   Many have sought them out for the answer to a happy marriage.  They have been asked to share the words of wisdom that God has whispered in their ears to sustain their marriage.  They have learned, explored, laughed, cried, changed and grown together.  They have raised a family and directed them in the way they should go, by gathering them around the table, clarifying scripture and rearing them to seek ye first the kingdom of God.

Then one day….. one cuts the other so deep with words or action that the union appears to be irreparable.  The wound is so deep because, the hurt feels personal and intentional.  Both began to entertain thoughts like "maybe this isn't the person for me?"  How can a person love someone and hurt them simultaneously (this can't be love)."  "I will be better by myself."  "The kids will get over it."  "I just can't stay in this marriage and allow someone to treat me with such disrespect."  "I have given all that I have to my spouse and if that is not enough I am done."  Both are seeking within themselves the answer to the question: How can someone who knows all of my weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and wounds use words or actions to assault me to the point that I feels like the very air that I breathe is no longer available to me?

When Christians Collide in Marriage:  God is the only answer.  God loves His bride, the church and he wants nothing more than to show a husband how to love his bride the way that he loves the church.  GOD LOVES THE CHURCH, yes, he loves the church that has lied to him, forsaken him, and committed adultery against him.  Yes, he loves the church that has mocked him, broken promises to him and cut him deeper than man's understanding of how deep a wound can go.  God also loves the groom.  God desires for the groom to be a mirror of himself (The Groom).  God sent his son Jesus to die for the sole purpose of every groom becoming a replica of him. 

Shhh, lets listen as God speaks, he is the only solution.  If you can relate to any part of the above listen and do the following:

  1. Submit yourself under the mighty hand of God and you will be exalted in due time (I Peter 5:6).  That means stop explaining, stop complaining, stop retaliating, and stop justifying your words and or your action.  Just submit to God!!!!!!! (Husbands and Wives).  Trust God to be your defense and not allow you to be taken advantage of.
  2. Let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ (Philippians 1:27).  That means strive to look and act like Christ daily.  Meditate on his word.  Let every word that proceed out of your mouth be acceptable unto God.  Be kind, and loving towards your spouse with a servant's attitude (this is not contingent on whether or not your spouse deserves it).
  3. Above all love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sin (I Peter 4:8) .  Reignite the love of God in your marriage.  Do what you know your spouse enjoys:  Rub feet, have a candlelight dinner, affirm your spouses, cook your spouse's favorite meal, say please a thank you, take a short weekend getaway to relax. Do not discuss anything heavy on your get away, set aside time to just laugh.
  4. Stand united with your spouse and God in speech and action (Ecclesiastes 4:12).  Do not allow anyone, (correct or incorrect) to speak against your spouse or your marriage. 
  5. Trust God with your future  (Jeremiah 29:11).  Don't worry about tomorrow allow yourself to be directed by the Holy Spirit one day at time. 
  6. Declare that divorce is not an option (Mark 10:9).  If God put you together give it all you have to make it work.  It is worth, breaking the generational curse of divorce and storing up for your family the blessing of unity and marriage.

 

Rev. Kimberly Thorpe LMSW

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